You may have seen it coming, but it’s still overwhelming to hear: Your child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. He’s been getting into trouble at school, his grades are slipping, and getting him to sit down and focus on homework—or even making it through a family dinner—is impossible.
But now you know why, and you can do something about it. A diagnosis of ADHD is an important first step in helping your child, as other learning disabilities are managed differently. And know that you’re not alone—about 1 in 10 American children has been diagnosed with ADHD. (And they’re not all boys; girls have ADHD, too.)
Pediatrician Ricardo Baler, MD, with UNC Family Medicine & Pediatrics at Holly Springs, recommends parents take these steps after diagnosis:
1. Learn about ADHD treatment—and empathize with your child.
It’s important for parents to remember that ADHD is a biological disorder; it’s not their fault and not the child’s, either, Dr. Baler says. “It’s not that the patient doesn’t want to pay attention or follow directions. He can’t pay attention or follow directions.”
2. Talk to your child’s teacher.
“The school needs to know,” Dr. Baler says. “They can help him to be more organized, allow him to sit closer to the teacher or give more time to finish a test.” Your child’s teacher can also help determine whether an individualized education program, or IEP, is needed. These personalized plans for children with learning disabilities can make all the difference. Not all children with ADHD require them, Dr. Baler says, but some do. Learning disabilities and ADHD often go hand in hand.
3. Keep going back to the doctor—and tell all.
Some children experience decreased appetite, stomachaches or depressed mood as a result of the medication, which would prompt their provider to make adjustments. But sometimes, parents don’t tell doctors that the child is still struggling with behavioral issues. Dr. Baler says it’s hard for him to give the most effective treatment when he doesn’t know how the child is doing.
“We are not here to judge; we are here to help,” Dr. Baler says. As kids grow, their needs change. Getting accurate feedback from parents and teachers helps ensure that children are getting the correct care. Once patients are doing well, provided that their doctors have no further concerns, follow-ups can be limited to every three to six months.
4. Consider therapy—and be ready to participate.
A behavioral therapist might be a psychologist, licensed counselor or social worker. Dr. Baler suggests asking potential therapists to explain their approach to ADHD. He says it’s best to find someone who has experience working with the entire family. Yes, that means you’ll be in training, too, to learn methods for helping your child deal with his symptoms.
5. Manage your expectations.
“They’re not machines. They’re still children,” Dr. Baler says. “We need to create realistic expectations when they start on medication. They need to be happy, not get A’s.”
It’s also important to know that children with ADHD often want to get off their medication during the teenage years, which can lead to disruption at home and school. Dr. Baler suggests involving teenagers in decisions about their treatment to encourage them to take ownership of their progress.
If you suspect your child might have ADHD, talk to your pediatrician. If you don’t have a pediatrician, find one near you.