When you’re preparing to become a parent, you know that hearing your baby cry will be part of the experience. What you may not be ready for is hours and hours of crying that can’t be soothed in the first months of your baby’s life.
That’s why it’s important for new parents to know that this kind of crying happens with most infants, starting at about two weeks and peaking at two months. Sometimes called “PURPLE crying” or colic, it’s perfectly normal, and it will end.
“There’s so much insecurity for new parents, especially first-time parents who might not have much confidence yet,” says UNC Health family medicine physician Adam Zolotor, MD. “It’s important that parents understand that there’s nothing wrong with them, there’s nothing wrong with their baby, and there’s nothing wrong with what they’re feeding their baby, whether that’s breast milk or formula. This is a normal developmental phenomenon.”
Knowing that it’s normal doesn’t necessarily make those hours of crying any easier, but Dr. Zolotor explains what to expect and some strategies for coping.
What is PURPLE Crying?
The acronym PURPLE was developed by pediatrician Ronald Barr to explain the characteristics of these crying periods in the early months of life:
P—Peak of crying: Babies may start crying uncontrollably as early as 2 weeks old. The crying may increase over the next few weeks, peaking between 6 to 8 weeks of age. It typically improves when the baby is 3 to 4 months old.
U—Unexpected: You know your baby cries when they’re hungry or in need of a diaper change, but this crying happens for no apparent reason.
R—Resists soothing: No amount of rocking, swaddling, walking around or rubbing your child’s back will soothe these cries, at least not consistently.
P—Pain-like face: The baby appears to be in pain but is probably not. (This may be difficult to believe when you see it, but your child’s doctor can help you determine if there is an issue, which we’ll discuss below.)
L—Long-lasting: The crying can last for hours.
E—Evening: This type of crying tends to be clustered in the late afternoon or evening.
PURPLE crying affects the majority of babies, though some may cry more and some may cry less. Second- or third-time parents may be surprised by these intense crying episodes if their first baby was calmer.
“If you have children, probably one of your babies seemed like a challenge in terms of crying, even if not all of them were as challenging,” Dr. Zolotor says.
You may have heard this kind of crying referred to as colic, but Dr. Zolotor says that some providers have moved away from the term because it implies that the baby has a disease or something wrong with them, when they don’t. This type of crying just happens at this stage of life and doesn’t require treatment—and it does not cause babies to turn purple.
As for why this phase happens, Dr. Zolotor says researchers aren’t sure and that all theories are speculative. It may just be part of a baby’s brain development; it may have originally been a survival mechanism for a baby to cry more so that their caregiver held them.
But Dr. Zolotor says parents can rest assured—even if they can’t get any rest. The length or severity of a baby’s PURPLE crying phase has no long-term impact on their development or health.
Strategies to Cope with PURPLE Crying
PURPLE crying can feel overwhelming, but in addition to knowing that it’s normal, there are a few things you can try when your baby is crying.
“First, make sure the baby is not expressing a need,” Dr. Zolotor says. “Babies only have one vocabulary, so if they’re crying, make sure they’re not cold or hot, they’re not hungry, they’re not tired, they don’t need to be changed.”
After you’ve met your baby’s basic needs, you can try to find things that might soothe them, bearing in mind that the strategy is not a failure if it doesn’t always work.
“White noise can be helpful, whether that’s making a shushing sound, using a noise machine, running the vacuum cleaner, or using an app on your phone,” Dr. Zolotor says; the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping sound machines at low volumes, at a distance from the baby and turning off once the baby falls asleep to protect hearing. “Wearing a baby so that they’re close to your heartbeat can be soothing. Some babies like to be held in certain ways, maybe on their side or with their back to your chest, looking out.”
You can also try walking around your home, sitting in a rocking chair, talking or singing to your baby, or offering them a pacifier or your clean finger to suck.
Some of the things you try may feel purely instinctual and like they only work for you; Dr. Zolotor says that he found himself doing squats while holding his child.
Babies will sometimes stop crying during a drive, because the vibration of the tires on the road is soothing, but be mindful about how you feel before you try that option.
“We don’t want parents to drive aimlessly at 2 a.m. when they’re tired,” Dr. Zolotor says.
PURPLE crying comes at a time when you are extremely exhausted and may be experiencing postpartum depression. Even a well-rested parent may struggle when their infant has been crying for several hours without stopping. It’s important to recognize when you need a break and take one—for the good of you and your baby.
“If you’ve tried everything and you’re getting frustrated, it’s OK to put the baby down in a safe place, like their crib, and walk away for five minutes,” Dr. Zolotor says. “Maybe a partner, family member or friend can help with soothing, but even if you’re by yourself, it’s OK to briefly walk away.”
Without meaning to, caregivers can become so frustrated that they shake the baby hard enough to cause head trauma, brain damage or even death. If you feel your patience dwindling, take a moment for yourself to take a deep breath. Remember this crying is not a reflection on your parenting, and it will end.
Ask for Help with Your New Baby
Remember that you don’t have to endure PURPLE crying alone.
If you have any concerns about your baby’s health, reach out to their doctor. You can start with a phone call or patient portal message, and they’ll help you determine if your baby is exhibiting typical characteristics of PURPLE crying or whether it might be something else.
“If you’re struggling, bring the baby to the doctor, because the doctor will want to know that baby and parents are OK,” Dr. Zolotor says. “We’ll look at whether the baby is showing signs of distress: Is eating normal? Is elimination normal? Are they vomiting? Do they have a fever? Are they gaining weight?”
If everything seems on track with eating and elimination, you may just have to prepare for another few weeks of crying, but don’t let that stop you from drawing on your support system. If you have a partner, talk about the division of labor so that each person is getting adequate breaks and, when possible, a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. If a friend has offered to hold your baby so that you can shower, nap or eat a hot meal, tell them that your baby is in this phase rather than rejecting the offer, even if it seems embarrassing or difficult to hand over a baby who can’t be soothed.
“Keep in mind that it does take a village and people want to help,” Dr. Zolotor says. “Rely on your friends and family. Accept help if it’s offered, and ask for help if it’s needed.”
If you’re the friend of a new parent or find yourself in public spaces with a new parent, Dr. Zolotor says kindness and tolerance are much better than unsolicited advice.
“If a new parent asks, you can offer your experience of what worked for you, but just be available to help if asked,” Dr. Zolotor says. “If you’re on an airplane next to new parents, be nice. They don’t want their baby to be crying either. Understand that this is normal, and not a sign of a problem with the baby or the parent.”
If you have questions or concerns about your baby’s health, talk to their doctor. If you need a doctor, find one near you.