If you’ve noticed your child is struggling with their emotions or mental health, you may be wondering if therapy could help. Therapy can be an effective tool for kids, and it isn’t limited to simply talking with a mental health professional. Play therapy can help children process emotions and develop coping skills.
“For younger children, play is language,” says UNC Health child psychiatrist Katie Napier, MD. “Play therapy allows the child to communicate with the therapist in a language they speak. The child may not always be able to use words for their thoughts and feelings, but they can act out something they’re feeling.”
How does play therapy differ from everyday play, and what should you consider before pursuing this therapy for your child? Dr. Napier explains.
Play Therapy Helps Children Cope with Emotions
Play therapy involves using toys, role-playing, games, art or other tools to meet the child’s therapeutic goals. A child may act out scenes with dolls, build something with blocks or draw a picture. As the child plays, the therapist observes and engages with the child. The therapist may help the child name emotions they’re expressing as they play, or talk through coping strategies if the child role-played a stressful situation, such as separation from a parent.
“Depending on the child’s age, they’re not necessarily going to be able to say, ‘I’m feeling worried, so I’ll take five deep breaths to calm myself down,’” Dr. Napier says. “During play we can point out, ‘When you feel this way, here’s the name of it, and here’s how you let others know you’re feeling this way.’ Then the child may be able to tell someone, ‘I’m worried’ or, ‘I need help’ or, ‘I need a hug.’”
The play may be child-led or the therapist may guide the child through a particular activity. Play can be the exclusive activity of the session or combined with talk therapy or other approaches.
Older kids and teens may engage in games or art with their therapist, allowing them to express themselves in a different way or practice problem-solving skills.
Though play can put a child at ease with a therapist, it’s not meant to disguise the work of therapy.
“Parents should have the conversation with their child of where they’re going and the reason for going,” Dr. Napier says. “What exactly to say will depend on the age and developmental level of the child. With a younger child a parent may say something like, ‘We’re going to talk with someone about what to do when we have big feelings’ or, ‘We’re going to talk to someone who can help us figure out what to do with some of our worries.’ If you aren’t sure exactly what to share with your child, it is okay to ask for advice from the therapist you will meet.”
The therapist will also provide context before the child begins playing.
“We’ll talk about how the things you say and play with here may be different than how you play at home, and that we’ll talk about what it’s like to play that way,” Dr. Napier says. “It’s important to have an understanding with the child of what we’re doing.”
Many Children Can Benefit from Play Therapy
Play therapy can be used for a variety of mental and emotional concerns, including anxiety, depression, and coping with life or family changes.
“Many kids can benefit, and it’s helpful for almost anything kids struggle with, from general worries to mood symptoms,” Dr. Napier says.
As with all therapy, it’s important to consider whether the therapist and their approach is the right fit for the child.
“Some kids who do a lot of imaginative play really jump right in and are ready for this kind of work, but it might not be the right fit for another kid,” Dr. Napier says. “It depends on the child, their age and the things the child is struggling with.”
Parents should also consider whether they’re comfortable with a play-based approach.
“I think parents wonder, is my child just playing, or are they doing the work they need to do?” Dr. Napier says. “It’s normal to think that, especially because kids develop at different paces. You may not see any changes, then there’s a big leap.”
Parents should be in regular contact with their child’s therapist—no matter the approach—to understand how therapy is progressing and what they can do to support their child. If you feel your child is not improving, you should let the therapist know.
Whether you pursue play therapy for your child or not, Dr. Napier encourages parents to set aside time to play with their child for a few minutes every day.
“Let your child choose and direct how you play, and experience what it’s like to be with your child in that way,” she says. “Be curious about how your child plays. It doesn’t have to be the same thing as play therapy, but it can enrich your relationship with your child.”
If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, talk to a doctor. If you need a doctor, find one near you.